Mark Twain Quotes:- Mark Twain, real name Samuel Langhorne Clemens, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and its sequel, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called “The Great American Novel”.
Mark Twain Born on November 31, 1835, in Florida, Missouri, Samuel L. Clemens wrote under the pen name Mark Twain and went on to author several novels, including two major classics of American literature: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. He was also a riverboat pilot, journalist, lecturer, entrepreneur, and inventor. Twain died on April 21, 1910, in Redding, Connecticut.
Twain earned a great deal of money from his writings and lectures, but he invested in ventures that lost most of it—notably the Paige Compositor, a mechanical typesetter that failed because of its complexity and imprecision. He filed for bankruptcy in the wake of these financial setbacks, but he eventually overcame his financial troubles with the help of Henry Huttleston Rogers.
Inspirational Mark Twain Quotes
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”-Mark Twain
“A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.”-Mark Twain
“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.”-Mark Twain
“A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”-Mark Twain
“A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.”-Mark Twain
“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”-Mark Twain
“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.”-Mark Twain
“A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.”-Mark Twain
“Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.”-Mark Twain
“Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.”-Mark Twain
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”-Mark Twain
Humorous Mark Twain Quotes And Sayings
“All emotion is involuntary when genuine.”-Mark Twain
“All generalizations are false, including this one.”-Mark Twain
“All right, then, I’ll go to hell.”-Mark Twain
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”-Mark Twain
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”-Mark Twain
“Apparently, there is nothing that cannot happen today.”-Mark Twain
“As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.”-Mark Twain
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”-Mark Twain
“Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.”-Mark Twain
“Better a broken promise than none at all.”-Mark Twain
“Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.”-Mark Twain
100 Best Inspiring Mark Twain Quotes About Life
“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”-Mark Twain
“Buy land, they’re not making it anymore.”-Mark Twain
“By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean.”-Mark Twain
“Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”-Mark Twain
“Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.”-Mark Twain
“Classic.’ A book which people praise and don’t read.”-Mark Twain
“Climate is what we expect, the weather” is what we get.”-Mark Twain
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”-Mark Twain
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”-Mark Twain
“Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.”-Mark Twain
“Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don’t tell them where they know the fish.”-Mark Twain
“Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”-Mark Twain
Motivational Mark Twain Quotes About Education
“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.”-Mark Twain
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”-Mark Twain
“Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.”-Mark Twain
“Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”-Mark Twain
“Don’t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.”-Mark Twain
“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”-Mark Twain
“Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.”-Mark Twain
“Everything has its limit – iron ore cannot be educated into gold.”-Mark Twain
“Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.”-Mark Twain
“Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.”-Mark Twain
“Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.”-Mark Twain
“Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man’s, I mean.”-Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About Politics
“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”-Mark Twain
“Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.”-Mark Twain
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”-Mark Twain
“George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.”-Mark Twain
“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”-Mark Twain
“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”-Mark Twain
“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”-Mark Twain
“God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.”-Mark Twain
“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”-Mark Twain
“Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.”-Mark Twain
“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”-Mark Twain
“Grief can take care if” itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.”-Mark Twain
Top 70 Inspiring Mark Twain Quotes On Life
“He is now rising from affluence to poverty.”-Mark Twain
“Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.”-Mark Twain
“How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before.”-Mark Twain
“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”-Mark Twain
“Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.”-Mark Twain
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”-Mark Twain
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”-Mark Twain
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”-Mark Twain
“I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.”-Mark Twain
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.”-Mark Twain
Mark Twain Friendship Quotes
“I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.”-Mark Twain
“I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any.”-Mark Twain
“I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping.”-Mark Twain
“I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.”-Mark Twain
“I never let schooling interfere with my education.”-Mark Twain
“I never smoke to excess – that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.”-Mark Twain
“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”-Mark Twain
“I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.”-Mark Twain
Ideally, a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.”-Mark Twain
“If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat.”-Mark Twain
50 Totally Accurate Mark Twain Quotes
“If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.”-Mark Twain
“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”-Mark Twain
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”-Mark Twain
“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”-Mark Twain
“In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.”-Mark Twain
“It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.”-Mark Twain
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”-Mark Twain
“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”-Mark Twain
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”-Mark Twain
“It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.”-Mark Twain
Famous Mark Twain Quotes Sayings
“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”-Mark Twain
“It is easier to stay out than get out.”-Mark Twain
“It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.”-Mark Twain
“It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”-Mark Twain
“It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.”-Mark Twain
“It was not besting” that we should all think alike; it is a difference” of opinion that makes horse races.”-Mark Twain
“It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.”-Mark Twain
“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”-Mark Twain
“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”-Mark Twain
“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”-Mark Twain
“Laws control the lesser man… Right conduct controls the greater one.”-Mark Twain
Famous Mark Twain Quotes About Laws
“Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”-Mark Twain
“Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.”-Mark Twain
“Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.”-Mark Twain
“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”-Mark Twain
“Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.”-Mark Twain
“Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.”-Mark Twain
“Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.”-Mark Twain
“Man is the only animal that blushes – or needs to.”-Mark Twain
The man” was made at the end of the week’s work” when God was tired.”-Mark Twain
“Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.”-Mark Twain
“Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.”-Mark Twain
Best Mark Twain Quotes About Accident
“Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.”-Mark Twain
“My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.”-Mark Twain
“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”-Mark Twain
“Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.”-Mark Twain
“Necessity is the mother of taking chances.”-Mark Twain
“Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.”-Mark Twain
“Never put off until” tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”-Mark Twain
“No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.”-Mark Twain
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackle” as if she laid an asteroid.”-Mark Twain
“Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.”-Mark Twain
Best Mark Twain Quotes About President
“Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.”-Mark Twain
“One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”-Mark Twain
“Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial ‘we.”-Mark Twain
“Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.”-Mark Twain
“Optimist: daydreamer” more elegantly spelled.”-Mark Twain
“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”-Mark Twain
“Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.”-Mark Twain
“Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.”-Mark Twain
“Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.”-Mark Twain
“Prosperity is the best protector of principle.”-Mark Twain
“Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.”-Mark Twain
Best Mark Twain Quotes About Education
“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.”-Mark Twain
“Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.”-Mark Twain
“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”-Mark Twain
“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself.”-Mark Twain
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”-Mark Twain
“The Christian’s Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.”-Mark Twain
“The educated Southerner has no use for an ‘r’, except at the beginning of a word.”-Mark Twain
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”-Mark Twain
Best Mark Twain Quotes About Human
“The finest clothing made is a person’s own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.”-Mark Twain
“The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.”-Mark Twain
“The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”-Mark Twain
“The human race is a race of cowards, and” I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.”-Mark Twain
“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”-Mark Twain
“The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.”-Mark Twain
“The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.”-Mark Twain
“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.”-Mark Twain
“The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.”-Mark Twain
“The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.”-Mark Twain
“The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”-Mark Twain
Best Mark Twain Quotes About Health
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”-Mark Twain
“The Public is merely a multiplied ‘me.”-Mark Twain
“The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.”-Mark Twain
“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”-Mark Twain
“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”-Mark Twain
“The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.”-Mark Twain
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”-Mark Twain
“The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.”-Mark Twain
“The trouble ain’t that there are” too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.”-Mark Twain
“The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.”-Mark Twain
Famous Mark Twain Quotes About Knowledge
“The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.”-Mark Twain
“There are lies, damned lies, and” statistics.”-Mark Twain
“There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one – keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.”-Mark Twain
“There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.”-Mark Twain
“There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race” and finish the farce.”-Mark Twain
“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”-Mark Twain
“There is no distinctly American criminal class – except Congress.”-Mark Twain
“There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.”-Mark Twain
“Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others.”-Mark Twain
“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work.”-Mark Twain
Best Mark Twain Quotes About Training
“To be good is noble, but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.”-Mark Twain
“To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.”-Mark Twain
“Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”-Mark Twain
“Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain’t so.”-Mark Twain
“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”-Mark Twain
“Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.”-Mark Twain
“Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”-Mark Twain
“Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.”-Mark Twain
“We Americans… bear the ark of liberties of the world.”-Mark Twain
“We are all alike, on the inside.”-Mark Twain
Best Mark Twain Quotes About Money
“We have the best government that money can buy.”-Mark Twain
“What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.”-Mark Twain
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.”-Mark Twain
“What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.”-Mark Twain
“When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.”-Mark Twain
“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”-Mark Twain
“When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.”-Mark Twain
“When in doubt tell the truth.”-Mark Twain
“When people do not respect us we are sharply offended, yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.”-Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About Health
“When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.”-Mark Twain
“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”-Mark Twain
“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”-Mark Twain
“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”-Mark Twain
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”-Mark Twain
“Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.”-Mark Twain
“Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.”-Mark Twain
“Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.”-Mark Twain
“Words are only painted fire; a look is a fire” itself.”-Mark Twain
“Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.”-Mark Twain
Best Mark Twain Quotes About Fire
“Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.”-Mark Twain
“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”-Mark Twain
“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”-Mark Twain
