Norm MacDonald Quotes:- Norman Macdonald (born October 17, 1959) is a Canadian stand-up comedian, writer, and actor. He was a cast member for five seasons on Saturday Night Live, which included anchoring Weekend Update for three years.
Early in his career, he wrote for the sitcom Roseanne and made appearances on shows including The Drew Carey Show and NewsRadio. He starred in The Norm Show from 1999 to 2001.
Inspirational Norm MacDonald Quotes
“Comedy is surprised, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.”-Norm MacDonald
“I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.”-Norm MacDonald
“Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier because it’s inconsequential. And politics can be really important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know?”-Norm MacDonald
“I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.”-Norm MacDonald
“All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.”-Norm MacDonald
“I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end, you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.”-Norm MacDonald
“In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.”-Norm MacDonald
Best Quotes and Jokes by Norm Macdonald
“I started on ‘Saturday Night Live’ at the same time Conan started on Late Night. We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn’t get a guest – which was often back then since he was just starting out – he would just call me down to be a guest.”-Norm MacDonald
“I like doing a funny show where I don’t have to act and fall in love with a girl.”-Norm MacDonald
“In terms of merit, sports have mathematical statistics. That’s how you know who the best player is.”-Norm MacDonald
“When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.”-Norm MacDonald
“I don’t have any ego about it, but I find there’s not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you’re dead.”-Norm MacDonald
“You can’t love your team without hating another team.”-Norm MacDonald
“I’m not gay, so I don’t know much about Broadway musicals.”-Norm MacDonald
“I sort of try to write everything for me. I’m a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don’t remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. I’m trying to make sure the jokes are self-contained so they’re accessible to everyone.”-Norm MacDonald
Funny Quotes by Norm MacDonald
“Stand-up has the best writers because it’s the hardest writing by a million miles.”-Norm MacDonald
“I love writing – it’s the best. But I really hate collaboration.”-Norm MacDonald
“You’re trying your best to make people laugh; then if you fail, they hate you. But your intent’s the same. It’s not like you’re trying to do evil to them.”-Norm MacDonald
“I’m a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don’t remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio.”-Norm MacDonald
“I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can’t stay in the same place. People think you’re a loser.”-Norm MacDonald
“I’ve just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn’t know them, I wouldn’t know they were funny from the television. I don’t know what it does, it just sucks it away.”-Norm MacDonald
“I just like doing standup, that’s all I’m interested in or good at.”-Norm MacDonald
“It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.”-Norm MacDonald
“There are these showcase clubs where 14 guys will go on in a row and people are laughing at everything, and I’m like – ‘I can’t laugh that much. That’s so weird to me.'”-Norm MacDonald
Norm MacDonald Quotes About Hollywood
“It’s a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you’re good at it, then they go, ‘How would you like to be a horrible actor?’ Then you say, ‘All right, that sounds good. I’ll do that.”-Norm MacDonald
“A lot of people think I’m difficult to work with. It’s not like I really want to do that much stuff, so it doesn’t really matter. I guess I’m somewhat difficult when it comes to comedy.”-Norm MacDonald
“I don’t know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.”-Norm MacDonald
“If you’re watching a comedian on television and he’s making a political point, I would say he’s gotten too serious.”-Norm MacDonald
“My dad had this thing – everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that’s all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!”-Norm MacDonald
“When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren’t in very good shape.”-Norm MacDonald
“I watch political shows for a number of weeks in a row, and all I see are guys arguing with each other over issues I have no idea about. My brother, he loves war-torn places. My dad would always read the paper and tell me I should watch CNN, but I usually wind up watching ‘Breaking Bad.”-Norm MacDonald
Famous Norm MacDonald Quotes About Actors
“I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.”-Norm MacDonald
“I have always loved Las Vegas. It’s a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.”-Norm MacDonald
“I never had any interest in sitcoms or motion pictures or anything like that.”-Norm MacDonald
“Whenever I do theaters, I don’t like ’em. I don’t think they’re right for stand-up.”-Norm MacDonald
“So much in L.A. is waiting. It’s so irritating. That’s what’s good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don’t have to sit and wait by your phone. But it is very frustrating.”-Norm MacDonald
“I didn’t really want to inject myself into anything political. A lot of people were asking me at the time about Jay and Conan, and I hate doing anything serious.”-Norm MacDonald
“Letterman is very intimidating because he’s so funny, so you have to be really prepared. Also, he’s a little squeamish about certain things, so you have to always be on guard to please him.”-Norm MacDonald
“I like to do talk show appearances where I get to just be myself, and I do stand-up where I can completely be myself. That’s what I’ve always loved the most, of anything.”-Norm MacDonald
