William C Fields Quotes:-William C Field (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler, and writer.
Inspirational William C Fields Quotes
“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”-William C Fields
“The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.”-William C Fields
“Here lies “-William C Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.”-William C Fields
“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”-William C Fields
“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.”-William C Fields
“I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.”-William C Fields
“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.”-William C Fields
“Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.”-William C Fields
“If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”-William C Fields
“Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.”-William C Fields
“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”-William C Fields
“If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with the bull.”-William C Fields
“I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.”-William C Fields
“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”-William C Fields
Famous William C Fields Quotes
“It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.”-William C Fields
“Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.”-William C Fields
“The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.”-William C Fields
“Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.”-William C Fields
“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.”-William C Fields
“I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.”-William C Fields
“There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.”-William C Fields
“It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.”-William C Fields
“Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.”-William C Fields
“Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.”-William C Fields
“Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.”-William C Fields
“Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.”-William C Fields
“Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil.”-William C Fields
“I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.”-William C Fields
“I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.”-William C Fields
“It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.”-William C Fields
Best William C Fields Quotes
“You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.”-William C Fields
“On the whole, I’d rather be in Philidelphia.”-William C Fields
“I am an expert on electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.”-William C Fields
“If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.”-William C Fields
“Never give a sucker an even break.”-William C Fields
“I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.”-William C Fields
“The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.”-William C Fields
“If there’s a will, prosperity can’t be far behind.”-William C Fields
“I must have a drink for breakfast.”-William C Fields
“Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?”-William C Fields
“Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.”-William C Fields
“Sleep – the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.”-William C Fields
“Never cry over spilled milk, because it may have been poisoned.”-William C Fields
Top William C Fields Quotes
“All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.”-William C Fields
“Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.”-William C Fields
“There are only two real ways to get ahead today – sell liquor or drink it.”-William C Fields
“The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with bated breath.”-William C Fields
“I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.”-William C Fields
“Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.”-William C Fields
“Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.”-William C Fields
“When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.”-William C Fields
“The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.”-William C Fields
“Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.”-William C Fields
“Marry an outdoorswoman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.”-William C Fields
“Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”-William C Fields
“I don’t know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.”-William C Fields
“I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.”-William C Fields
